Huh? Not making any sense? Because of the nature of these little flash fiction vignettes, I thought it would be helpful to index previous back stories and journal entries. Although Artiste’s tales are non-linear, it can help to read some pages in groups by threads of associated content. Of course you could just read them randomly, and trust that it will all come together at some point.
The beginning back story is always a great place to start:
• The Artiste Gullible back story
For this particular installment it also may help to read: (Something random?)
↓ Transcript
[image] A unicorn is wide-eyed in panic as a man with a hacksaw approches from behind.
[text] The secret to eternal youth is a ring made from the cross section of a unicorn horn. If you weave a segment of it’s mane into your hair, your lover will never leave you. A drink containing ground unicorn hooves will allow you to run endlessly without tiring. However, (despite what you may have read,) unicorn blood is practically useless; outside of being an interesting ice cream topping at the occasional ring-bearer lodge meeting.
Albeit mostly magical, the power derived from unicorn ingredients does not come without consequence. For their protection, an ancient charm binds unicorns to adolescent human girls. Any nefarious deed threatening this majestic beast will open a river of animosity towards the malefactor, which is breathtaking in its crippling ferocity.
For there is no weapon, nor magic, strong enough to counter the crying wail of a 14 year old girl.
[text] The secret to eternal youth is a ring made from the cross section of a unicorn horn. If you weave a segment of it’s mane into your hair, your lover will never leave you. A drink containing ground unicorn hooves will allow you to run endlessly without tiring. However, (despite what you may have read,) unicorn blood is practically useless; outside of being an interesting ice cream topping at the occasional ring-bearer lodge meeting.
Albeit mostly magical, the power derived from unicorn ingredients does not come without consequence. For their protection, an ancient charm binds unicorns to adolescent human girls. Any nefarious deed threatening this majestic beast will open a river of animosity towards the malefactor, which is breathtaking in its crippling ferocity.
For there is no weapon, nor magic, strong enough to counter the crying wail of a 14 year old girl.
Of course there isn’t that’s why it’s best to just placate a girl and not kill her unicorn.
Also the bit about the blood, brilliant, it’s a big screw you to anyone stupid enough to try it.
I must be a 14 year old at heart – I find this one deeply disturbing and want to do a bit of wailing myself.
This version was actually my tame one. The first rendition had the man on the unicorn’s back, grabbing it around his neck while he used a hacksaw to cut off the horn. My wife called it vulgar and wailed at me with her inner 14 year old. I moved the man to the background and added the bit about young women. Truly the charm must be powerful.
The inner 14 year old boy in me wants to see the vulgar version
That mention of the ring-bearer lodge meeting reminded me of a great theory I thought up about the ring – there’s only one! All the travel-rings are probably the same ring at different points in its timeline.